The Holy Raywilliambible
One day Ray William Johnson was sitting in his kitchen, trying to come up with video ideas. After hours of thinking he finally thought of the perfect idea. He ran to the studio and recorded the video immediately. When he uploaded the video to YouTube it was so good the algorithm exploded into the whole universe.
When the algorithm exploded another god was born. The Algorithm God can be found everywhere today, in fact, you've probably gone through some algorithms on the way to this website. Every ad you see, every YouTube video you get recommended, they are all works of The Algorithm God. Your Favorite Martian made a whole song dedicated to this god (Algorithm God).
After seeing the success of his latest video, Ray William Johnson started thinking of new bigger and better ideas for new awesome videos that he could upload. He sat in the kitchen for days trying to think of something before he finally thought of it. The perfect idea. “Every good youtuber has to have good songs” he thought, as he sprinted into the studio and started writing the song. He had just eaten some delicious meatballs, so he decided to name the song “My Balls”. After recording the full song and uploading the video to his brand new “Your Favorite Martian” channel he started getting lots of subscribers, likes, and views. The video was so massive the YouTube servers shut down for a day. This has now become the holy song of Raywilliamjohnsonism, and shall be played when you pray.
On 9 Feb 2024 a video of @andyarthursmith singing "oh when the saints" went viral. Around 4 months later @iaml0ry posted a video using the sound that showed Ray William Johnson dancing against the Serbian Dancing Lady. This meme quickly became popular and more saints were introduced, like IdkSterling and Joe Bartolozzi. The saints are the maintainers of this universe, the light in the dark, the snow in the winter, and shall be included in your prayers (optional).
A couple of years after quitting, Ray William Johnson was mad at how the world was turning out. There were criminals robbing banks, murderers murdering people, and many other terrible people in the world. He had become fed up with all of this nonsense and created a TikTok account. He started uploading videos documenting terrible cases of such terrible actions. These videos have made lots of people realise how terrible the world is, and that we need to make a change for the better.
When one dies they get sent up to the judgement room. You will see Ray William Johnson standing in front of you, ready to make a judgement. He will then make a very important decision. He will choose if you can go to Raywilliamheaven, or if you have to spend some time in Raywilliamhell. Raywilliamheaven is a wonderland that you will forever reside in, where anything in your wildest dreams could come true. Raywilliamhell is a terrible place. When you are here you will be subjected to everything bad you have done to others. Every rude statement you have said will be said back to you, every person you have murdered will get to do that to you, and you will stay here until Ray thinks you have served a bad enough sentence. The only time you will be here permanently is if you have been a very terrible person. Someone like Hitler will never leave Raywilliamhell and will forever have to endure the same pain that he caused his victims.
1. You shall not kill
2. You shall not hit other people in the face with a dagger
3. You shall pray every saturday (optional)
4. You shall not bully
5. You shall not pass
1. Relentless bullying
2. The assassination of a saint
3. Assault against fire extinguishers
If you have raywilliamsinned too much then this ritual is for you. To do this ritual you need someone you know. This could be a family member, a friend, or a raywilliampriest. Lay down on a bed, couch, or bench. Now your assistant shall repeat this prayer.
“In Ray William Johnson’s name I cleanse you from all of your raywilliamsins, raymen”
If you are ever in a dark area and feeling a sense of dread, do this ritual to save yourself from the Raywilliamdevil. To do this ritual you have to find a small object on the floor and put it in front of you. To start the ritual, pick up the object and hold it up in front of you. Walk 5 steps backward and then put the object down and lay down on your stomach. To fuse this object with Ray’s holy aura you have to repeat this prayer.
“I summon Ray William Johnson to protect me from the Raywilliamdevil, raymen”
Do this ritual if you feel nervous before a test. To do this ritual you need something you have used to study for the test with. This could be a paper, google document, calculator, etc. Put the material 1 meter away from you and repeat this prayer.
“Ray’s holy aura will lead me to success. This test shall not go terribly, raymen”
Have you been sick for days on end? Did you just break both of your legs? Did you just lose your mind? Then this ritual is for you! To do this ritual you don't need anything, but taking proper medication helps you heal faster. Sit down, close your eyes, take a deep breath, and repeat this prayer:
“I might feel sick at this moment, but with Ray's embrace I shall be healed. This issue that I am experiencing shalln't exist and is just make-believe, raymen.”
This was the day the world was created. On this day you shall give presents to your loved ones and dance around a Ray William Johnson video. The gifts symbolize how Ray gave us life and dancing around a RWJ video shows how much you love and support him.
During the first week of April we all appreciate fire extinguishers a little extra. If a fire extinguisher puts out a fire during this week we must thank it and pray. It's also a raywilliamsin to throw away or buy a fire extinguisher during this week as that is very disrespectful.
This was the day that Ray William Johnson defeated the Raywilliamdevil and freed us from the Raywilliamdevil's terrible prison in Antarctica. To celebrate this we eat many delicious eggs and throw rotten eggs on walls. If you draw Ray's face on an egg and pray you will get a week of good luck. With your good luck you could do lots of stuff, like buying a lottery ticket or play shitty RNG games on roblox.
On Ray's birthday you must pray at least 2 times (3 times on sundays). This is the most important holiday in Raywilliamjohnsonism because if Ray wasn't born we wouldn't exist.
During the month of November you can not eat fire extinguisher, donkey ears, and 3d printed trains. Doing this will give you a 1 month sentence to Raywilliamhell. Why? Because every other big religion has a fast, of course!